Archive for the ‘Men’ Category

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

Gary Shandling

I got the most absurd call last night or the night before last. It was from this guy who gave me a ride home from a couple of the meetings at the Quit Smoking Clinic over on Monroe. He was nice enough but the meetings just made me want to come home and buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke my brains out. Really.

Sitting around with a bunch of people who weren’t doing as well as I was because they weren’t taking this new medication Chantix was crazy making for me. They were all talking about how much they craved cigarettes and what they were doing to overcome their cravings and I’d go home and have hours of false labor pains craving cigarettes. Eff that shit. I quit going.

So this Dave guy calls me last night. I recognized his voice right away and even put a face to his name but I couldn’t remember when and where I had met him or what his last name was. We talked for a few minutes and I easily realized where I knew him from when he started talking about “meetings” but he finally admitted he didn’t know who in hell I was so I helped joggle his memory.

Seems he was calling my number because it was in his telephone and he had been trying for months to put a face to my name. Well that was OK. I can see why he might do that.

But then he said “Yeah, I thought you were cute. Maybe we should meet up at one of these meetings and go have coffee later. UGH.

‘ I thought ‘Man on the Make. Desperate man in heat, no less. No thank you, goodbye.’

I think I was kind of blunt and not all that tactful. I told him I really wasn’t interested, thank you anyway and I didn’t really have time to talk because I was expecting a phone call. I guess I am just not interested in men at all right now, thank you.



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