Archive for the ‘Male-Female Relationships’ Category

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

Gary Shandling

I got the most absurd call last night or the night before last. It was from this guy who gave me a ride home from a couple of the meetings at the Quit Smoking Clinic over on Monroe. He was nice enough but the meetings just made me want to come home and buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke my brains out. Really.

Sitting around with a bunch of people who weren’t doing as well as I was because they weren’t taking this new medication Chantix was crazy making for me. They were all talking about how much they craved cigarettes and what they were doing to overcome their cravings and I’d go home and have hours of false labor pains craving cigarettes. Eff that shit. I quit going.

So this Dave guy calls me last night. I recognized his voice right away and even put a face to his name but I couldn’t remember when and where I had met him or what his last name was. We talked for a few minutes and I easily realized where I knew him from when he started talking about “meetings” but he finally admitted he didn’t know who in hell I was so I helped joggle his memory.

Seems he was calling my number because it was in his telephone and he had been trying for months to put a face to my name. Well that was OK. I can see why he might do that.

But then he said “Yeah, I thought you were cute. Maybe we should meet up at one of these meetings and go have coffee later. UGH.

‘ I thought ‘Man on the Make. Desperate man in heat, no less. No thank you, goodbye.’

I think I was kind of blunt and not all that tactful. I told him I really wasn’t interested, thank you anyway and I didn’t really have time to talk because I was expecting a phone call. I guess I am just not interested in men at all right now, thank you.



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can’t bear the roosters crow
I guess it’s something that you already know
Remember the darkness bless the light
Lest I fall into the night
You might think I’m crazy, crazy like a fox
You might think I’m soft but I’m hard as a rock
I got something , something called fire
I got something take my spirit higher
Stopped wearing black I am tired of look thin
I got a big fat spirit walking born again
Got to get humble going to wash your feet
Got to feed the beggar down on poor’s man street
Like a saint I walk on water, turn water into wine
Turn the other cheek, give my eyes to the blind

Crazy by Bride
Well I went to court today and got my restraining order against the man-who-wishes-he had-never-met-me At least that’s what the note under my door claims but he claims he didn’t write the note or so his lawyer told me. Lawyer? Yup, he had a lawyer there representing him and she wanted to settle the matter before we got to the judge. He would agree to everything I wanted for one year.

At first I said no, I wanted to go before the judge because I wanted to know about this note and my blogs disappearing for several days. Ms Lawyer (yes he got a female lawyer!) said she would not allow him to testify. WTF! The person who was with me said the judge couldn’t make him testify and couldn’t do anything about my blogs anyway and I couldn’t prove he had anything to do with the note or my blogs so I should negotiate. SHIT FuCK DAMN!

OK then sucker 2 years! I could hear him getting pissed and whining about that because he would have to take another elevator if I was in the one he wanted blah blah blah and he couldn’t eat at the Senior Center (he never eats there, he just walks through and stares at everyone). I did concede that he could go to classes during that time period but that he had to stay out of the dining area. I could have made things much worse for him. Much worse.

Now, I’m willing to believe he didn’t “write” the note but I’m willing to bet cash he knows who in hell did and how it got under my door. I’m willing to bet he had “nothing to do with my blogs playing hide and seek” but I’m willing to bet cash he knows who did and he was told all about it before it happened. I’m willing to bet the reason he had a lawyer with him is to protect those other people more than it was to protect himself.

Those other people are an amorphous group of men and women whose identities I am not quite certain of. I am sure that some of them live on the premises but I am also certain that not all of them do. I think of them as a consortium of individuals known collectively and somewhat affectionately at times as The Gremlins. Today I believe I am promoting them to Troglodytes. At least some of them.

I believe that there might have been some meddling going on that got my admirer thinking I was more interested than I was and then got him even more upset than he needed to be when his overtures did not work. I think I know exactly who that twit of a meddler was. He’s a sociopathic snake in the grass who can’t resist causing trouble for others. A troglodyte who looks good on the outside but is so putrid on the inside one or two pokes reveals the stech of psychic decay. He’s supposed to be moving out soon and it can’t come soon enough. If I get a chance, I will confront him about this and then I will go to the building manager about it.

But the other troglodytes are much more onerous and dangerous. I believe there are burglars living on the premises. There are so many complaints about break-ins and theft it’s ridiculous. The management says they can’t do anything, call the police. The police say they can’t do anything until you actually catch somebody in the act. Right. The cops don’t pay much attention to complaints from people here at the Three Threes. You are automatically labeled neurotic simply by virtue of your address and posibly psychotic. Complaints like this are dismissed out of hand.

I think the main reason for the break-ins is because of the computers in the building. I’ve “lost” six (or is it 7–I’m beginning to lose count) computers to viruses/trojans that none of the big gun virus/trojan detectors out there can detect or figure out how to remove. I’ve spent hundres of dollars trying to keep thme out and/or get rid of them. Basically I don’t really control this computer–they do. They allow me to use it if I behave myself and don’t try to do anything to get rid ogf them or talk about them. I am writing this in Word because when I tried to writ it online, the sentences about burglars living in the building got edited out.

Why do they want the computers. It’s some kind of cyber crime. I wish I understood computers better but what from what I do understand I believe they are turning other people’s computers into some kind of conduit (servers?) for information out into the internet. I’ve found evidence of what looks like credit cards and telephone numbers to Asia and Europe. They seem to be using Telnet.

It’s really amusing to write things that mess with their heads and watch them run around in circles being pissed as hell at me. They’ll do something they think will punish me. Like steal my blogs away again. Of course this time I will go to the cops. I might not get anywhere but since I have a job working on the internet and they may have cost me that job already, this has now become serious shit. So I double dog dare you, you idiots. Besides they’ll go straight to Mr Can’t-Take-No-For-An-Answer for answers. Any questions?

They could take my TV remote again. As if getting up and walking all of 8 feet is a huge hardship. They’ll bring it back later just to make me feel foolish anyway. What else? Oh they could move things around. Steal my kids pictures.Search the house for god knows what. Steal my sewing supplies. Eat my food while they are here. Use up all the ice cubes and don’t make any new ones. Rude ass people. Kill my plants. Why that was so appealing I don’t know but they put some mighty foul smelling shit in the pots.

But you know what, I ain’t gonna let none of that shit piss me off or hurt my feelings. If I let them control my emotions then they win. Wasting my energy on getting pissed off is foolish. I have better things to do like tring to figure out what they are up to and why they are so interested in being in my apartment doing nasty stuff to me. It started out as payback for something and I’m not even sure what. That part I don’t care about.

It’s the computer stuff that is so fascinating. You would not believe what I have learned about computers. They have rendered so many machines with windows inoperable right off the bat that I am really going to have to learn Linux. At the moment I am too lazy–better things to do. Tired of playing with PCs.

Yes, I know this sounds crazy. The rantings of an insane woman. God I wish it was. I could take a pill and make it all go away.


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Yesterday was ummm… interesting. I have an admirer who won’t take no for an answer. went bonkers all over me about something that happened months ago. I knew he was still angry about it because I had caught him glaring at me on many occasions. Said admirer does not take kindly to assertive women who are assertive when it comes to saying no to him which most women do because he is so socially awkward and it is rumored that he may have been involved in a date rape. I’m not sure I believe that although after this incident, I am coming to doubt my doubts.

I said yes on two occasions. Then I said I was busy for x amount of time but he would not accept that and was very angry when I said you don’t respect boundaries and I don’t want to go out with you anymore. I could be flattered by that in an icky sort of way but he doesn’t take no for an answer from anyone who wears a skirt on occasion. He scared the bejesus out of me. There were many witnesses and they are concerned for my safety. I’ve been advised that I can get free a restraining order against him based on what I told the Rape Crisis Center.

At this point I’m going to hope that the talk the manager and the people at the senior center had with him will be effective and not take that action but if he does not leave me alone. If he even so much-as breathes on me, I am going for it.  My PTSD has kicked into full speed ahead. <grimace>


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