Sometimes the Coffee Stirs Ya

The first line of this poem was shamelessly stolen from a coffee cup cozy at a famous name brand coffee shop a couple of years ago.  Should I mention their name?  Oh hell, why not give them credit.  StarBucks.  StarBucks on State Street near the University of Wisconsin to be exact.  I used to go there with my fella.  <grin>

I hereby dedicate these poems to Larry and Starbucks.  Larry knows the value of a good cup of coffee.

COFFEE (Fall)

Sometimes the coffee stirs ya’
makes ya’ rise up in the morning
a song on your lips, shouting hallelujah!
When it’s a a bag of fresh roasted beans
and you grind it yourself while
the sun rises favorably over the city;
when the brewing takes over every room
while you’re snuggling in bed with your fella.
Some days the October sky is that blue that thrills ya
and the colors have peaked in falls gaudy bloom
so you fill the house with the bright yellow fullness
of Sunflowers. Everything seems so full of promise!
Those are the days you don’t want to miss..
Sometimes the coffee just stirs ya’
Know what I mean?

Sometimes ya’ just stir the coffee…
You know, those days when you’re feeling glum
and it’s partly to mostly cloudy, hardly any sun.
It don’t matter how fresh the beans
might be or how strong you make your coffee
ain’t nothing gonna stir ya’
because today you’ve just got the blues.
The in-pile on your desk just gets bigger and bigger;
the daily news seems to portend the end
of time and you ain’t got a dime till pay day
and Honey, don’t you know, that’s a week away!
Your guy’s out of town; your best friend forever
ain’t talking to ya’ and you ain’t got a clue
what the hell’s tripping her trigger!
You’re feeling almighty low and downright awful!
Some days it’s all you can do to pick up a spoon
and keep on stirring the coffee.
Know what I mean?

COFFEE (Spring)

 Sometimes the coffee stirs ya’
makes ya’ rise up in the morning
a song on your lips, shouting hallelujah!
When it’s a a bag of fresh roasted beans
and you grind it yourself while
the sun rises favorably over the city;
when the brewing takes over the house
while you’re snuggling in bed with your fella.
Some days the dandelions are so yellow they thrill ya
and the lilacs are in full bloom
so you fill every room with the smelly fullness
of their blossoms and everything seems full of promise.
Those are the days you don’t want to miss..
Sometimes the coffee just stirs ya’
Know what I mean?

Sometimes ya’ just stir the coffee…
You know, those days when you’re feeling glum
and it’s partly to mostly cloudy, hardly any sun.
It don’t matter how fresh the beans
might be or how strong you make your coffee
ain’t nothing gonna stir ya’
because today you’ve just got the blues.
The in-pile on your desk just gets bigger and bigger;
the daily news seems to portend the end
of time and you ain’t got a dime till pay day
and Honey, don’t you know, that’s a week away!
Your guy’s out of town; your best friend forever
ain’t talking to ya’ and you ain’t got a clue
what the hell’s tripping her trigger!
You’re feeling almighty low and downright awful!
Some days it’s all you can do to pick up a spoon
and keep on stirring the coffee.
Know what I mean?

Barbara Gavin-Lewellyn

I’m going to try and write a different version of this poem for every season.  I think this is one of the best pieces I have ever done.  Just my opinion.

I should start putting more of my stuff online.

B

Still Grieving After All This Time…

When griping grief the heart doth wound,
and doleful dumps the mind opresses,
then music, with her silver sound,
with speedy help doth lend redress.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)

I’m feeling really good these past few days in spite of some frickenfracken (I love these curse words that come from a children’s story!) pain. I feel emotionally grounded…happy in spite of some heavy duty grieving. It’s odd, really. But it’s a letting go I think or maybe just a recognition and acceptance of my love for Skip, embracing it really in a very public way. Whatever, it feels good.

I’m writing very well in my opinion and the opinion of some people I respect immensely in the community here. People who write song lyrics and get PAID to perform. The folks over at The Isthmus and Madison.com I really just feel so honored to be recognized and appreciated by all of them.

Here’s a poem that seemed to practically fall into my lap day before yesterday. Actually its Granny Rap. I’ve really made very few changes to it:

Still Grief

Grief because I can’t just drive
away from here, leave behind time
and drive away,away from here.
I’m thinking time
won’t take away my sorrow,
I’ll still be here wanting you again tomorrow…
I never expected to be in this world
without you there somewhere there
waiting there, somewhere there,
Somewhere there waiting there waiting there…

God I wish that YOU were there, still there
waiting there, still there waiting there for me
and I could find you there still waiting there.
or you could find me here, still waiting here ,
still waiting for you,still waiting here,
still here waiting here….

Grief, because when you left you left
me behind and you know that ain’t fair
‘Cuz I looked for you and you weren’t there
You weren’t there waiting there waiting where
You always were, you left me here, waiting here
You left me all alone in this bad old world
Still waiting here, here waiting here
and sometimes I feel just like a little girl.

God, I wish that YOU were there, still there
waiting there, still there waiting there for me
and I could find you there still waiting there.
or you could find me here, still waiting here ,
still waiting for you,still waiting here,
still here waiting here….

I never thought I’d end up here in this cold world
Waiting here without you waiting there somewhere
there waiting there waiting waiting there somewhere
God I wish that you were there, still there still there
somewhere waiting there waiting there
and I would find you waiting there, waiting anywhere
ore you would find me here still waiting here,
just waiting here for you here, waiting here.

God, I wish that YOU were there, still there
waiting there, still there waiting there for me
and I could find you there still waiting there.
or you could find me here, still waiting here ,
still waiting for you,still waiting here,
still here waiting here….

I never expected to be waiting here, here all alone
all alone on my own
all alone.

Barbara Gavin-Lewellyn

Muse-o-pause?

OK, rhetorical question here but why is it that the muse seems to go on strike periodically and then she comes back all refreshed and you can’t keep up with the ideas she is pouring into your head? Or is it just me and I’m getting manic? Because you know, if I’m getting manic, I should really rethink weaning myself off of my seizure medication.

Right? Right.

Damn but I hate it that I am more creative when I’m sick and that to stay healthy I have to kill the creative “genius” in me. (yeah right Barbara, grandiose much?)

I think I need to take my emotional temperature. Mood check:

Symptoms of Mania

1) Insomnia or brief periods of sleep check
2) Pressured speech hmmm..maybe
3) Increased physical activity not really (lazy)
4) Decreased appetite yeah, sorta but bring on the chocolates and mashed taters and I’m so there!
5) Grandiosity Oh hell yeah it’s a family trait! I carry it in my jeans.
6) Excessive and obsessive writing By whose standards?

Maybe it’s menopause FINALLY. I mean, three years ago they told me I was still ovulating and I was like OMIGAWD am I glad I had that hysterectomy in ‘96. Can you imagine having an “accident when you are 50effing2 years old? Holy hell.

I don’t believe in abortion. I mean, I believe in choice and all because it ain’t my right to decide another woman’s moral/ethical whatever you want to call it choices but me personally? Nope, I couldn’t. Not unless they told me the eventual child would be seriously deformed and would not have a decent quality of life. That would not include Downs syndrome.

Anyway the past few days I have been having what could be but I don’t really know for sure hot flashes. I mean it seems to me that someone who is generally cold unless it is right around 80* who suddenly gets so damn hot she is stripping down to bare nekkid in nano seconds and then in oh a half hour or so gets all shivery might be said to be having hot flashes but what the hell do I know? I’m taking a “What the hell? Oh well…we’ll wait this out and see what happens.” attitude

If this is what hot flashes are, they’re downright funny in private. I’ve been waiting a long time to be warm in my own skin in Wisconsin.  Its a pity I don’t have anyone around to enjoy these manic strip tease moments.

In public notsomuch.

B

True Confessions Are Good For the Soul…

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change

Seth MacFarlane, The Family Guy

I have to come clean, admit my darkest secrets. I just can’t go on after plugging the BlogCatalog’s Blogging For Hope campaign and posting that self righteous post the other day.

I..I… well damnit I have to admit that I abuse Republicans every chance I get. My main modus operandi is to go to the Delphi Forums posing as an intellectual elite disguised as a redneck. I get them all comfy with me by using words of two syllables or less and then I say something like “The United State hegemony in the middle east is reprehensible.”

How do I get away with such disgusting behavior? How do I pull it off? Well, once upon a time, I <gasp, gasp. gasp> was one of THEM. Yes that’s right, friends and neighbors, I was a registered, dyed in the wool, redneck Republican. Bred to be born in the cradle of the Republican stronghold and spoon-fed Republican idiotology for 17 years.

I was a Republican because my Daddy told me I was one! He also told me a good wife votes exactly the way her husband votes so she doesn’t cancel out HIS vote. (!) My husband was a Republican for the exact same reason I was. <shudder>

So when I abuse Republicans I know just where to hit them the hardest. When I use those big words I know most of the Republicans I have exchanged posts with over at Delphi either don’t know how to use dictionaries or refuse to use them and throwing big words around when they thought you were just like them really gives them the willies.

Maybe they think I am cursing in French and there is nothing worse you can do to a right wing fundametalist conservative Republican than curse in French. . Unless you eat French fries in their presence when the French politicians publicly disagree with American foreign policy.

Well except for make fun of their revered leaders. You know, people like Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter who only speak the gospel truth except when they don’t. But that isn’t the really bad part, I make fun of Georgie Porgie and accuse him of playing in the puddin’ and pie although I don’t think he could kiss ONE SINGLE GIRL and make her cry. They’d all laugh until HE cried.

I often point out that Georgie pushed Humpty Dumpty off the wall for no damn good reason and he lied about it. Then all the wannabe king’s horses and all the wannabe king’s men couldn’t put Humpty back together again so even THEY retreated from the limelight so there stands Georgie with egg on his face.

And Mary Mary quite contrary can’t get her garden to grow so I’m taking even money bets that Georgie will be out on his duff when he’s done playing Pinnochio. But the good news is they’ll be able to saw off his nose and use it as a teacher’s pointer and rod for sparing no child lest they be left behind.

It’s true, I do abuse Republicans about all of these things but most of all I abuse them because they haven’t got the sense to understand they are being lied to or they do have and they tell the same damn lies, pretend they believe them and drive us all crazy juggling the truth, the lies, and the propaganda..

I’m a bad person. I don’t intend to change.

God in heaven that ain’t bless America the land of the brave and the home of the free. Ain’t free speech wonderful?

B

They Like Me, They Really Like Me

Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

Colin Powell (1937 - )

Can I just brag on myself here? Give myself a big old pat on the back and say job well done? Or am I just being way too full of myself?

I don’t cry anymore when this happens but boy the first six or seven times, I bawled like a baby because it was such a balm to my err…OK, soul. Whatever it is that makes a human being a unique individual. Alright I’ll admit it, it strokes my ego and my ego really needed stroking as far as my writing is concerned.

I have trouble finding my words sometimes. The technical term for this is aphasia. I seriously have a big problem holding a conversation because I cannot say the words I want to say. Same thing with writing but it doesn’t matter if I sit here half an hour trying to find the word or concept that I am trying to express. It doesn’t matter if I just wander away and do something else like wash the dishes or read a book and come back two hours later. No one knows.
When it kept happening I started putting tic marks on the wall. It’s like being a 1st or 2nd grader keeping track of the As you get. It’s probably a little silly but to me those tic marks are huge accomplishments.

The Isthmus Daily Page quoted my Blog about “The Death of A Salesman” in “Living in the Edge of Madness.” That makes fourteen tics for the Isthmus Daily Page, five tics for Dane101, and two tics for Madison.com.

And if that’s not enough to make my head swell, I got a shout out from one of the top guns of the Blogging For Hope, Rich at Copywrite, Ink (cool name, huh?). He says I made him laugh. <big ole goofy smile>

Thanks everybody.  I hope the thrill never wears off.

B

Bless the Beasts and the Children/Bloggers Blogging for Hope

href=”“>Bless the beasts and the children
The Carpenters

There are so many ways we can abuse so much in this world. We can even abuse the planet itself as Al Gore has pointed out in his Academy Award winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.“ I am not a Christian, I have made that very clear on several occasions in my Blogs but I believe the myths human beings tell to explain their occupation of this planet are powerful. The Christian creation story has a compelling message that I think that Christians and non-Christians alike can take a valuable lesson from regarding our role as stewards of this planet and its inhabitants.

I am going to use the King James 1611 Bible because I love the majesty of the Elizabethan Language. I don’t think it makes much difference which translation you use. This part of the story of “In the beginning…” is pretty clear.

1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. 1:30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. 1:31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. 2:1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

This story is centuries old. It was almost certainly passed along as an oral tradition long before it was ever written down and there were many versions before it was recorded in this beautiful 16th century iambic pentameter. The main point that I want to dwell on here is that HUMANS have DOMINION over everything else in the world.

Dominion. That’s a strong word to use. We were to dominate or rule over all the animals and all of the fishes in the sea and the fowl that flies and all the creepy crawly things too.. We have complete charge of everything else in the world. The creator god gave it all to us. If you believe in this creator God I don’t see how you can fail to believe that you have been commanded by God to take care of his creation.

If you are a disbeliever perhaps you could take a moment to reflect that these supposedly primitive people back in the dark recesses of time recognized that it was OUR duty to take care of this planet. They believed that an almighty force, a supernatural being they believed to be the creator of everything around them, gave THEM the power to rule over everything. They recognized their status as the beasts highest on the food chain and understood the moral responsibility that that implied. Can we do any less?

Taking care of this planet and ALL OF ITS INHABITANTS, right down to the most seemingly insignificant species of fly in the muckiest marsh in the backwoods of nowhereville is essential to our own well being. This is it, folks, this is all we’ve got. This planet and its inhabitants depend on us to be good stewards. WE MUST STOP THE ABUSE!

Each of us can stop the abuse by choosing our own particular interest and taking a proactive part in being good stewards. Humananity has been thoughtless and cruel for far too long. There are many, many causes that need to be taken up and battles that need to be fought. You might find the destruction of our rain forests to be particularly reprehensible or you might have issues with substance abuse in your life or you might want to take up the cause of making sure that everyone spays and neuters their pets. There is something for everyone to do.

I have a particular interest in preventing child abuse. How do you prevent child abuse? You can make a determined heroic promise that you will never ever abuse a child and I will truly believe that you would never WANT to do that. But if you were abused as a child I would bet that the odds are better that 50/50 that you will abuse your own child in some way, shape, or form if you do not seek professional help.

Don’t believe me? Check the statistics on the ‘net.

I did. I hate the fact that I did. But I did.

I hit my children when I was angry. I said terrible things to them. Things that no mother should ever say to her babies. Eventually it got so bad I HAD to seek professional help because I was horrified by my behavior. I was horrified but I couldn’t stop. I was out of control.

I had to admit that I needed help if I was going to to end the cycle of abuse. If you are a parent who is in the position I was in, please, seek help. You can get help through your local Child Welfare Services, Domestic Abuse Crisis Lines or family doctor. The professionals you turn to will understand. You will not be punished and your children will not be taken away from you if you come forward. YOU are NOT a bad person but your behavior can and must change.

If you were abused as a child but don’t have children yet, PLEASE, seek professional help. Not only for your own sake, for the sake of your future children.

If you see a child being abused or know of a family where children are being abused DO SOMETHING. The child abuse hotline is 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4253) You can also help by getting involved in Child Abuse Prevention organizations

Make a decision to stop the abuse. Choose Hope.

Bless the beasts and the children
For in this world they have no voice
They have no choice

Bless the beasts and the children
For the world can never be
The world they see

Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them

Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from a storm
Keep them safe
Keep them warm

Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them

Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from a storm
Keep them safe
Keep them warm

The children
The children

Bloggers Blogging For Hope September 27th 2007

Tomorrow is the big day. BlogCatalog intends to make history with bloggers around the world Blogging for Hope and against abuse. The Guiness book of Recoods is at stake here. And you can win a prize!

To be a part of this just grab a logo, link to blogcatalog and write about stopping abuse. Substance abuse, animal abuse, child abuse, elder abuse. Republican abuse ;^>. Whatever stikes your fancy. I’ve got my entry written and ready to roll. you can read it here tomorrow. Write on everyone.

B

Waxing the Moon-a poem

WAXING THE MOON

Polar bears waxing the moon against
a starry starry night, pools of swirling light
like a Van Gogh painting, the speed rushes
through your veins and up your spine tingling
out to your extremities like the second coming of Jesus!
Praise God! But inevitably the collapse dawns
like waves beating against the quay and that sucks
you under, draws you out into the sea of tranquility
until you are so tranquil you can hardly
cast your eyes towards that waning crescent of lunacy
as it slips beneath the horizon followed by the shaggy bears
who droop along after it in another cycle of despair.

This is a condesation/distillation of three pages of train of thought writing that I did after watching a man who lives in my building pace back and forth in the courtyard of my building one night in the week before the Harvest Moon in October 2004. I told Larry that I thought he was probably bi-polar because of the way he moved. I have since become acquainted with him and we have traded war stories about being manic depressive.

B

OCD, Brain Brown-out, and Writer’s Block

Sometimes I hit a dead zone where I can’t write. I sit in front of the computer and nothing happens. This can go on for days on end. Weeks can go by and nothing happens. My fingers refuse to move.

Before I had a word processor, when I was doing all of my writing with a pen or pencil and a piece of paper because I could not type well enough to write with a typewriter, I would get into these horrible struggles with the obsessive compulsive need for my handwriting to be perfect. If I didn’t like the way I wrote even one single word in a sentence on a piece of paper I would have to start all over again and rewrite the whole damn page.

Then I got a computer and I did not have to worry about making spelling errors. I could edit as I typed in real time and move words around if I did not like where they were or change them to other words with the flick of the wrist and suddenly I was free of all the shackles of my perfectionism. My OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) became my best friend!

But now I get Brain Brown-out. The dead zone. Maybe I just need to recharge my batteries.

B

You Can Be a Part of Blogging History

 

 

 

This came from BlogCatalog. Join Bloggers all over the world Blogging against abuse. Any kind of abuse. Child abuse, animal abuse environmental abuse, employee abuse, substance abuse… Whatever. Blog about it. Help stop the abuse.

 

B