Man, I need a keeper. This morning I did a couple of loads of laundry and because of the stinking thieves in this building, you have to stay downstairs and keep an eye on your stuff so I was hanging out in the Community Room or as I like to call it, The Day Room. Anyone who has ever spent time on a Psych ward will catch that reference.
The first faux pah I made was when Erica, the building manager, came in looking for the newspaper and I said “Where’s P M? Wherever P M is you’ll find the paper!” P is my arch nemesis, at least in her eyes. I bear her no real grudge. She’s just there and I don’t much trust her but I am not about to go out of my way to aggravate her.
The truth of the matter is that she comes down in the morning and reads the paper without fail and everyone who wants to read the paper sits at that table. I apologized to her if what I said upset her because I just meant that she usually was reading the paper (even though I didn’t need to becasue I didn’t say anything wrong.)and she told me she thought that was an inappropriate remark. (!) jesus christ on a fucking pogo stick, these bitches will use anything to cause a stink on my behalf. sigh…
P will say the most obnoxious things about me to her friends and they join in while I am within hearing distance and I just ignore the BS because I dare not get into any kind of brouhaha with that woman since I “scare her and I’m dangerous.” All because of a remark I made when I was ranting about her to someone else got passed back to her TWO freaking years ago! THANK YOU JOE SPAGNOLA, you two faced bastard.
Oh dear, now I’m starting to name names. ;^) I said I would like to slap P silly when she tries to boss people in the day room around the way she does. This was after I had a big ass argument with her and really told her off in no uncertain terms about that very matter. LOUDLY She went to the then manager Dora and reported me as having made threats against her.
I was dumbfounded. I knew I had ranted about her but I couldn’t think of what I had said and who I had said it to that would have beens seen as a threat. Then the “slap her silly” thing came out and I knew I had said that in front of three people. Which wone had told told P or told someone who told P? I mean, I trusted Joe back then. It was never meant to get back to her and it was never meant to be taken seriously that I would do such a thing. I was ranting. I said I would like to not that I was going to. Much much later, I realized it must have been Joe when I realized he was pulling other shit.
It was agreed that I would just ignore Pat but Pat did her best to make herself almost impossible to ignore. She drives a big old scooter and she would practically kamikaze buzz me whenever she saw me sitting in the courtyard. As I said, she continues to make rude remarks about me within my hearing every chance she can get. Most of the time I just manage ignore the old wretch.
Occasionally I will say “FUCK YOU” without even looking at her. Then she’ll say “Did you hear that? Did she say that to me?” And they’ll all look at me and I’m minding my own business not looking at them except out of the corner of my eye. And they’ll all buzz, buzz, buzz about reporting me for using foul language. It tickles me pink. Gives me the giggles. And then they want to know what I’m giggling about. jesus they are a hoot.
The next thing that happened is I got the giggles when another one of the women who have me on their shit list got called down by another little old lady because she tends to run on and on and on with her stories boring everyone to tears. She told Sabrina she would talk as long as she wanted to and I couldn’t help it, I lost it. I do the same thing when I’m manic but at least I have enough sense to realize that I’m getting offensive when someone says something.
D is Bi-Polar and a complete and total bitch sometimes when she goes into a manic phase. It’s a long story about why she doesn’t like me but suffice it to say that it has to do with men and territorial rights. I encroached on what she thought were hers without knowing I was doing it. Twice. Ooops.
Then I ran into Larry in the laundry room. We said Hi and then there was the most awful dead silence that you could have cut with a knife. I had to get my clothes out of the dryer or I would have walked out of there. It was horrible. I hated it.
I talked to Harry about writing Larry a note of apology for being so harsh and abrupt with him the last time we talked and he said I shouldn’t do it unless I still wanted him in my life. Because if I do, Larry will take that as an invitation to reinsert himself into my life. That’s probably true. However, I am going to be running into him here on a regular basis and I don’t like this cold silence.
On the other hand, I think he should apologize to me. I am the person who is most wronged in this whole mess. I feel used and abused and I’m still mad at him. I also think he lied to David so I’m doubly mad.
I guess the cold silence stays in place for awhile. At least until I have had a chance to talk to David about this. It still feels awful. I feel like I am being a bitch and punishing him. But hell, he is perfectly capable of starting a conversation too. Why is the onus on me? It’s not! I should stop feeling guilty!
B
